


That's The Way

by Libruuhhh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), M/M, Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 16:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10468869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libruuhhh/pseuds/Libruuhhh
Summary: Dean has to confront his feelings for Castiel after Cas tells him how he feels.





	

“I love you.”  
That’s all Dean heard as he stared at Cas, his best friend, writhing on the ground in pain. He knew he was going to die. He knew it was going to happen eventually. It happens all the time in this profession. People die. Angels die. Demons die. He knew death was always waiting behind a closed door, but he didn’t know that door would open so fast and so soon.  
Just hours earlier the family had been out to eat, Mary giving Dean sideways glances as he called his best friend, his angel, devastatingly handsome. He knew his mom could see how he felt. He knew that she recognized his wall coming up as he tried to get Cas to flirt with Mandy. Dean knew that his mom saw right through his facade, and when he looked up, he knew Cas saw it too.

  
The rest of the day seemed to be a blur to Dean until he saw the black jagged infection spreading up Cas’s body. Time suddenly seemed to slow down while also feeling like there was never enough. It was never the right place, the right moment when Dean wanted to tell Cas how he felt and now, the moment was slipping away second by second. Dean wanted to reach out to Cas and cradle him in his arms, hold him there until his last breath and whisper softly into his ear, I love you too, I always have ever since that fateful night in the barn, but another part of him pulled him back and told him that Cas was somehow going to survive this, and there will be another opportunity. Just. Wait.  
The way Cas was looking, though, seemed to say otherwise. The rot on his body was spreading and his cheeks were red with fever. The blood on his shirt was dried and starting to brown, and his tie and shirt were rumpled up against his pale skin. He looked human again, and that made Dean’s heart fill with more fear. Cas was dying, and he couldn’t even muster up the courage to tell him how much he meant to him. No, instead, Dean winchester shoved his feelings into the pit of his stomach and put on his brave face, the face he wore whenever death was near.

  
They had to fight. They had to kill Ramiel. Dean forced himself to turn away from Cas and focus on killing, the one thing he knew how to do and did it damn well. He tried to tell himself that this was gonna work out, Cas would survive, and he would finally tell him how he felt, but deep down he knew that was all a bunch of lies. Lies he told himself so he wouldn’t feel so guilty after Cas’s death, guilty about never telling him he loved him, that all he ever wanted in this sick, damned world was to hold his hand and kiss him so hard that Cas would know he loved him even without saying it. But he was here, and Cas was there, dying, turning into a memory that would never fade. After a few good punches and flings across the room, Ramiel was killed by the same weapon that was slowly turning Cas into a pile of rot.

  
The next few moments happened so quickly that Dean didn’t even know if they were real. One second he’s staring into Cas’s eyes, hoping that he gets the message that yes he loves him, yes he wishes he could help him and make all the pain go away and he’s sorry he can’t form the words in his mouth that are at the tip of his tongue. I love you, he thinks. Forever.  
The sound of snapping wood and a flash of gleaming light suddenly take Dean’s focus away from Cas. The spell was broken. Crowley’s words were distant to him as he looked back at Cas, suddenly healed of this curse. Dean looked him up and down and silently prayed to God that Cas was okay while simultaneously cursing himself for not having the fucking courage to tell Cas that he was all he ever wanted and he could never love anyone else the way that he did. In hopes of getting some sort of message across to Cas that he truly did love him, he said the only thing that he knew Cas would understand, the words he said whenever they were about to be saved.

  
“Let’s go home.” And so they did.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter and I plan on updating chapters as often as I can! Thanks! :)


End file.
